


Strange Dreams

by oneerectiontomyheart



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Dream Sex, M/M, One Direction Tours, Smut, Tour Bus, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 18:23:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1135947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneerectiontomyheart/pseuds/oneerectiontomyheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam's world is thrown into a roller coaster after he has a crazy dream that makes him question everything he thought was real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I’ve ever tried to write anything. I would love for anyone to tell me how they feel about it/suggestions. Critics are encouraged! I know its real short but I'm gonna keep working on it.  
> **I actually completely changed the story because I hated it, sorry for anyone who gets confused!!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely changed the story bc I hated it so i would advise you to reread it

_Liam wakes up to the feeling of kisses making their way down his chest,  slowly rolling over his thighs. He can't help but let out a choked moan when lips meet his erection, his boxers the only barrier between his cock and the lips pressing against it._

_“Want these off,” the stranger starts to say but cuts themselves off to start mouthing at Liams erection again._

_But no, it’s not a stranger._

_Liam knows that voice, he would recognize that accent anywhere. He spends almost all of his time with the Bradford badboi._

_He doesn’t know why, but a jolt of electricity runs down his spine when he moans on his dick._

_He chances a look down, scared to confirm who is down there._

_The first thing he sees is black hair. He studies the disheveled quiff that sits at the top of his head, its a lot messier than he would usually let it get._

_He studies the stubble that outlines his perfectly chiseled cheekbones, traces it down to where his chin juts out. His lips are swollen and pink, his mouth is open and he’s still kissing through the too thin boxers covering Liams growing cock._

_That’s when he looks up, his eyes are shining even in the moon-lit bedroom. Liam can make out the tiny specks of gold scattered throughout his irises._

_Zayns hands grip at the top of his boxers, smirking while he quickly pulls them off of Liams hips. Before Liam can even react Zayn is grabbing him by the back of the neck, pressing him into a hot frantic kiss. Liam feels a tongue dance around his lips, begging for entrance and before he even knows what he’s doing he’s letting him in. Not even bothering to fight for dominance because he knows he would lose._

_He is a complete wreck. His head of his cock is throbbing against the opening of his navel, leaving precum and crying for attention. One of Liams hands find their way to Zayn’s ass, pulling him in closer so he can feel Zayn’s own erection rub against his own. The other is holding Zayn at the back of his head pulling him closer._

_No matter how hard Liam tries he’s still can’t get close enough._

_The burn in his groin is still growing and stretching, he feels it in his arms and feels it as it’s making its way to settle in his fingertips and his toes. But it doesn’t settle, it just keeps growing and growing until he feels like he’s going to explode._

_Liam can’t feel when he stops and Zayn starts, the only thing he can feel is the torcherous arousal dancing around in his veins. He can’t tell if it’s him or Zayn who lets out the whining moan, pleading for more, crying-begging-dyeing for more._

_He finds out when the sound slips past his lips over and over again when the other boy breaks the kiss._

_He starts trailing wet sloppy kisses down Liams chest once again, leaving Liam light headed and dizzy._

_"Do you want this?" Zayn whispers. Liam tries to reply, tries to let Zayn know that he's okay with this, more than okay with this, but when he opens his mouth a barely audible sob slips out._

_Everything goes silent for a few seconds before he feels Zayns hands tickling the insides of his thighs teasing him. Liam whines, tries to communicate to Zayn how much he needs him. Zayn seems to get the hint because he is quickly bringing his head down to meet his lips with the tip of liams cock. He licks a long stoke up the underside before he wrapps his lips around the head. Lips hollowing out within seconds._

_Liams hands find their way onto Zayns head once again, this time he’s slotting his fingers through Zayn’s long quiff pulling and yanking at his raven haired locks until Zayn’s moaning around Liams cock. He can’t take it any longer, his hips raise and before he knows it he is fucking Zayns mouth. Zayn’s gagging every few seconds, eyes watering, tongue dancing around Liams cock. Liam fucks up harder, pressing Zayn’s head down to meet every thrust but Zayn doesn’t try to pull off. His moans grow louder and he tries even harder, cheeks hollowing out as Zayn sucks like its the only thing he knows how to do._

_Liam is close, he can feel it building up in the pit of his stomach. He goes to warn Zayn, so he can pull off if he wanted to but all that comes out is a low drawn out “Z-zayn,” he understands though because he takes Liams cock out of his mouth and starts stroking him in hard quick movements. It not long before Liam is coming, screaming out Zayns name. Zayn points Liams cock towards his face just in time for Liam to coat his lashes with hot cum. His pink lips are covered in white liquid and he’s frantically trying to lick it off, as if someone is coming along to steal it away._

* * *

 

The sun is peeking through the curtains in Liam’s room, threatening to spill out and fill the whole room with a blinding light. Call Me Maybe is playing at an offensively loud volume, that’s the last time I let Harry pick my alarm, Liam thinks to himself. His pillows are all scattered around the floor and yeah thats probably the reason for the crook in his neck. The room is unforgivingly humid, he’s wrapped in his duvet, his whole body is covered in a thin layer of sweat, but it was not the light that woke him up, or the annoying alarm he set to wake himself up to, or the tightness he was feeling in his neck, nor the desert like temperatures he was feeling in his room. It was that all too familiar wet sticky feeling settling in the groin of his boxers that woke him up. It had been years since he had woken up like this, sweaty and sticky from a dream that he would most likely forget about until later. His memory always getting jogged at the most inappropriate of times.

It was 10:45, he has just enough time to shower and get dressed before he has to rush out of the house to meet all of the boys on the tour bus. I felt every bone in my body creak as I lifted myself from my mattress, limping to the bathroom because his feet hadn’t yet gotten used to being walked on.

I stood under the hot sprinkle of the shower and let it loosen up the crook in my neck. When I got out of the shower, I quickly threw on the first thing I saw, a black adidas jumper and a pair of loose gray sweat pants. I grabbed my keys and my suitcase before I was running out of the door ready to take the 20 minute drive to the tour buses. We were starting a 4 month European tour before we got a month off followed by a 8 month American tour.

My mind started to wonder back to my rather rude awakening. I knew if I tried hard enough I could get my brain to open up about the things that had happened in my own head. Piece by piece my dream starting coming back to memory. The first thing I had remembered was the burning lust and the desperate feeling of want and need that was singed into my bones. I remember feeling a trail of kisses along my thighs, remember fucking into someones mouth while they moaned around his dick.

God, he can feel his cock start to swell in his pants and he can’t even remember who he dreamed of. He keeps trying to remember a face, a voice, but nothing comes to mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam is on the bus with the boys but cant stop thinking out the dream.

When I finally made it to the bus Harry was already there, placing his old beat up pillow and the big white stuffed bear, that Louis won him a while back, on his bunk. Harry always gets the bunk closest to the lou, with Louis' bed right below. Niall usually settles himself on the top bunk across from Harry. At the other set of bunks on the opposite side of the bus is where you will find mine and Zayns bunks. We always choose the two bottom bunks across from each other. We always said that we chose to stay on the other side of the bus because Harry snores but we all know that it's because Louis and Harry  stay up all night long giggling and doing what ever Harry and Louis do. It's quite adorable how they think they're being sneaky but we've been on to them and their tricks since xfactor. And lets not talk about what goes on when the boys get drunk, even all the way over here I have still been woken up on several occasions by them. This is the way its been since we've all started this band thing, Harry and Lou always with each other laughing and probably cuddling, Zayn and I playing video games or watching the new batman movie and Niall just kind of doing his own thing.  

I set up my bed like always, with the same blanket that I've brought from Wolverhampton and the same reliable pillow I've had since 8th year. When my bed is done only then can I let myself join Niall and Louis on the couches.  Louis is laid out next to Niall losing at a game of FIFA to the Irish lad. 

"Oi, Leyum just the man I can beat!" Louis is always cocky, doesn't realize that Liam usually lets him win, there is nothing worse than a pouting Louis. 

"Give me that controller Ni, I'm about to show Louis who's the man of the house!" Niall laughs at that and throws over the controller, so I can start whooping Louis' ass. 

* * *

 

Louis and I were 25-30 with Louis surprisingly in the lead even though I was bringing my A-game.  Someone opened the door to the bus and I could hear Harry's warm voice welcoming someone aboard but I was too busy trying to beat Louis to care. I had possession of the ball and I was on my way to the net when I hear the voice getting closer but I was so close to winning that I ignored them for a little longer than I usually would have. There was shuffling in the hallway and before I knew it there was a raven haired boy clinging to my chest, body falling into my lap with a loud thud.

“Leeeeyum” Zayn clings tighter, arms around my neck kissing at my cheeks, causing me to drop the remote and lost possession of the ball. Just enough time for Louis to come in and score the winning goal for his team. 

“Oi, watch it!” I was going to start yelling at Zayn because yeah, pouting Louis was bad but smug Louis was much much worse, but he was already out of my lap changing positions so only his legs were dangled over my lap, feet doing a little dance in front of my face. 

“I want these off!” Zayn whines, trying to will me into taking them off for him.

That's when it all clicked, the entire dream replays in my head but only this time Zayn is there and he's the one who is placing soft kisses on the insides of my thighs, he is the one slotting his mouth perfectly with mine. He is the one that I yearned for, the one that made me desperate in a way that I never believed possible. 

My cock starts to stiffen when I remember when I remember fucking into his mouth until he moaned with pleasure, and wait what am I doing? He's my best mate, I shouldn't be getting turned on by this. It's no use though, I can tell myself that this is wrong, what I am feeling is wrong but than I remember how perfect Zayns lips looked around my cock, how great his ass felt in my hands. 

"Liam, are you alright?" Zayns eyeing me like I have four heads, I wonder how many times he had to call my name before I noticed.

"Uh yeah, I just really need a nap, I had a really rough night" I didn't wait for a reply, I just got up and walked to my bunk. 

I need to get out of my head, yeah a nap would be great right now. 

* * *

 

_I am the one kissing all over Zayns this time, sucking and biting at all the right spots. Zayn keeps moaning out my name over and over again, it is quite possibly the most erotic thing I have ever heard. I wrapped my hand around Zayn's dick while he slowly jerks me off._ _Zayns moans are getting louder and more intensified as I fasten my speed. Then Zayn is biting on my ear and thats when I lose it, coming all over my chest while breathing out Zayns name._

* * *

 

"Liam, Liam wake up!" Someone is yelling in my ear, I'm suddenly all too aware of the wetness in my boxers and the person shaking my arm trying to pull me back into this dimension. 

"It sounds like he's having a good dream" Niall adds and the rest of the boys laugh. So there goes me trying to hide this, when I open my eyes Zayn is the one crouching in front of me.

"Finally you're awake, get up, get dressed. We're going out to eat." Zayn walks away and goes to his bunk to grab his pack of cigarettes. 

"So uh Liam, sweet dreams?" Harry asks smirking all the while.  Louis is less modest with his comment saying "Yeah, we started hearing all of these strange and foreign noises coming from your bunk. We were a little worried, weren't we Zayn?" Zayn clearly enjoying this, chuckles and agrees.

"Uhhh, what did I say?" That did not come out as chilled as I was expecting, it sounded as panicked as I felt. What if they knew I had been dreaming about Zayn. Shit, I fucking came in my pants again.

"Just a bunch of 'Oohs' and other nasty noises I wish I could erase from my mind" Louis answers, I look over to Zayn because he was the one who was standing next to be as I slept. He just smirked at me with this amused look on his face, what ever that meant. 

* * *

 

They were going to this really posh place in London, they were renting their own little room for the most privacy. It was our last night in London for a while so of course Perrie and Eleanor were invited. 

Louis was sat between Harry and Eleanor, on the other side of the table sat Perrie across from Eleanor, Zayn sat across from Louis. Instead of taking my usual seat next to Zayn I opted to sit at the head of the table by Harry allowing Niall to take my normal seat by Zayn. Even though I didn't think it would be all that big of a deal each of the boys have me a quizzical look as if not sitting next to Zayn was the end of the world. 

"Hey Liam, Harry Louis Niall and I are all going out for drinks after dinner, you should come." Eleanor says breaking the silence, her smile sickeningly wide.

"You have to go, Zayns already backed out and you know how Niall gets at the pub," Harry is literally pleading at me with his eyes to go. Harry is always on edge when ever Eleanor is around. 

"Hey it's my last night with my Zayn, don't try to make me feel bad for wanting to spend it alone." Perrie says and for some reason this really sets me off. I have never understood why Zayn likes her, yeah she was fit but she never wanted to go out, and I knew Zayn loved to go out. Plus she was totally riding on his fame, using his name to attract attention to her band

"Maybe you will find the girl from your dreams," Louis raises his eyebrows as he jokes about todays earlier events.

And again I'm feeling things I don't understand, like sadness and jealousy because Perrie gets Zayn and I don't. _Wow, did I really just think that?_

"Nah, I don't think they'll be there." I replied, dropping my head to stare at my salad. I’m not really sure what I’m feeling but I think its jealousy. Whenever Perrie puts her hand on Zayns or leans into his side to whisper something in his ear I just can't help feeling hate towards her. I just can’t help feeling jealous.

* * *

The pub is loud and packed, people are crowding the dance floor making a fools of themselves. There is a girl eyeing me up, shes wearing a short pink miniskirt and ruby red lipstick, she's smirking at me and waving me over. I wait for someone to walk between us, shielding her view so I could make a b line for the bar. 

I take the only empty spot at the bar and I scan around the bar for the bartender. When he sees me he instantly stops what he's doing and walks, no, struts to the spot in front of me. 

“What can I get you?” His voice is deep and sweet. His eyes can only be described as a soft honey with sparks of yellow towards the pupil. He wears his hair short, but still long enough for a soft tug, and it's nearly jet black. He has a tattoo of a flower on his neck, which may sound girly but it only makes him look even more masculine. He has an eyebrow piercing and when he talks I can see a metal bar just in the center of his tongue. 

“I-uh-I,” _I’m making a fool of myself,_ “How about something very tall and very strong?” I try to out on my best charm which why am I, I mean he's just a bloke, I'm not into that. _Oh my god, that smile, it is so adorable, why am I getting butterflies?_ _What is happening, sure I could always tell when a guy was attractive but it was never like this._ I just want to get to know him, to dance with him, _to kiss him_. I pushed the last thought out of my mind. The bartender is back with my drink in hand and he quickly rushes off quickly to people on the other end of the bar. 

When I finish my drink I  start to feel the alcohol start to dull my senses. When I asked for strong he really gave me strong.

“Want another?” The bartender was back and he was standing there, with his adorable smile and beautiful eyes. I hadn’t realized I was staring until he cleared his throat a few moments later.

“Uh, yeah sure.” _I can’t believe I just stared at him like that, he probably thinks I’m a freak. I can feel my cheeks turning pink. I really hope he can't see it in the lights here._  When he returns this time with my drink he doesn’t walk away.

“My names Liam” _Thats it, thats your big starting line?_

“I-uh-I know,” _Of course he knew who I was,_ “My names Ben,”

“Well, Ben the bartender, when do you get off?” _Did I just ask him that, what am I thinking?_

“I-uh, actually in about 15 minutes.” _This was working out, did I want this to work out?_

“Well do you have any plans after?” _I tried really hard to sound confident but I sounded insecure, I don’t know what for. I'm Liam Fucking Payne. Any guy would be privileged to hangout with me. **Guy**. I didn’t even know if he was into guys, hell I didn’t even know if I was into guys._

“I don’t know what you got in mind?” _When he smiles everything seems to fall into place, his dimples make their first appearance and his eyes shimmer. I really wanted this to work out, I don't know what this was but I know that I want it, what ever it is._

“Meet me here, in 20 minutes?” Ben winked as he walked away, to serve other customers. He winked, that has to mean something.

I spent the next 15 minutes sipping at my drink, watching Ben dance around the bar until he slips in the back and someone comes in to take his place. 

It's been ten minutes since he went back there, and I havn't seen him. Maybe he just went home, I mean I'm just Liam Payne, I'm no Harry or even Zayn. 

“Wanna dance?” Someone whispered in my ear, I was ready to push who ever it was away until my eyes met Ben's. I nodded, feeling my blush fill my cheeks once again and walked to the dance floor. I normally wasn't into grinding on the dance floor but I was buzzed and Ben was fit and I didn't want to let this opportunity pass. 

Ben's ass was pressing against my crotch, he was much better at this than any girl I'd ever met. I let the music take over and I wrapped my arms around Ben, just as I started leaning down to press my lips to his neck I felt someone pull at my arm. 

I swung around so quick and ready to snap at who ever had pulled me away.

“What the fuck mate” Niall yelled over the sound of the music.

“I’m just dancing”

“That's not a girl, it’s a bloke” _Niall was starting to get on my nerves, like I'm obviously not blind. Is there something wrong with me dancing with a guy?_

“Yeah I know, I asked him to dance” Niall just looked at him even more confused, none of them are homophobic but all of them were straight, or at least the rest of the guys were.

“Your pissed, lets go mate.” Niall started to pull me back towards the exit

“No, I’m gonna go dance. Don’t wait up.” Niall gave me a concerned look but he knows he can't control me. He knows that when I've made up my mind there is no changing it.

Ben was still standing in the middle of the dance floor, looking all cute and awkward.

I wrapped my arms around his neck feeling a little bold, and whispered in his ear, “Sorry about that, just wanted to tell me he was leaving.”

“S’ kay” Ben could barely get those words out.

I pulled him in closer, we were forehead to forehead swaying off time to the beat. _At any moment I could kiss him, and I’m pretty sure he would kiss back._

It was just meant to be a soft brush of lips on lips but when my lips met him it sparked a fire across my body. I pressed my lips to his more forcefully, it takes Ben a few seconds to register what is happening before he is meeting my lips hungrily opening his mouth to open the kiss to something more. When his tongue meets mine I let out a loud groan and felt my hips thrust forward involuntarily, just searching for some sort of friction. We kissed for what felt like hours even though it was probably only minutes maybe even seconds. Ben was first to break the kiss that left us both panting.

“I-I’m sorry but I can’t do this, I kind of have a boyfriend. I’m sorry for leading you on.” Ben is really nervous, which is completely adorable.

“ ‘S alright babe, I gotta go anyway. Early morning and all.” I kissed him once more on the lips, more gentle than the last time. When I break away, I can see a bunch of people watching me, cellphones in hand.

_Shit-Shit-shit-shit-shit!_

_The boys are gonna be so pissed. This is not good no not good at all. I hadn't even admitted to myself if I liked blokes and now I'd have to sit down and have this conversation with the boys, management, interview after interview. I'm supposed to be the sensible one, what am I doing?_

__

* * *

It's 8 o'clock when I wake up, on a normal day I'd be up showering, going for a run, doing anything productive but today I'm not even sure if I want to get out of bed. Harry and Louis are cuddled in Harrys bunk,surprise, and Niall is snoring in his own. I need to apologize to Niall, he didnt deserve the way I acted last night.

Zayns bunk is empty and not slept in, he must have spent the night with Perrie. It hurts me in a way I didn't think was possible, Zayn had spent the night with Perrie a bunch of other times and it never bothered Liam before but this time is different.

Nothing good is on the television, I put in the friends dvd planning on watching the whole season but I’m back to sleep before the second episodes opening scene.

I awake to a warm body pressed against my side and a fuzzy blanket thrown over me to keep me and my cuddle partner warm. When I open my eyes I Zayn's head is resting on my shoulder and he is completely engrossed in the scene on the tv. This isn't unusual for them, they're all used to cuddling, its the only for 5 boys to get comfortable on one couch but now it feel different. It feels more than comfortable, it feels, right. My heart skips a beat when Zayn starts laughing at something funny on the tv. Zayn looks at me surprised when I start running my hand through his hair but quickly he's smiling that smile that tears Liams heart up, he could count the wrinkles around Zayn's eyes, he can feel the warmth pooling from his eyes. Ben was fit but he was nothing compared to Zayn.

“Good you’re up, we need to talk.” When he tells me to check twitter, I give him a questioning glance. I scroll through the trends and than I look at my mentions and my heart sinks. Pictures of me grinding with a very attractive man fill the screen. I keep scrolling and there are more pictures and videos.

He watches the longest video, It’s a lot like the pictures of him dancing with the guy, his name is Ben he remembers, but at the end of the video Liam is kissing him. _Oh god I’m fucked_.

When I look up Zayn looks pissed, god I fucked everything up, _for myself, for the band,_ _for me and Zayn._

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Zayn gets up and stands in front of me, towering over my sitting figure, “The guy gets you fucking drunk and takes advantage of you,” Well this is not what I expected, I thought Zayn would be mad at me, maybe even a little jealous. But he's mad for me, feeling protective over Liam, which makes my heart swell a little more than I would ever admit. 

“Just so he could get his fucking fifteen minutes,” Zayn looked at me now, pointed his eyes at me like daggers, “Why the fuck were you dancing with him?” Zayn was my best mate, weird feelings or not, and I just want to tell him everything, starting from my dreams to that night in the bar but I know I can’t tell him the whole truth so I'll just settle for half of it.

“You promise you won’t judge me or anything?”

“Of course mate, what is it?”

“Well, how. Do I say this. Lately. I’ve been having like. I guess you can call them thoughts or like feelings about. Guys.” The last word came out as a nearly audible whisper. I paused to see Zayn’s reaction but his face just stayed neutral, he was great at hiding his emotions. “I guess. I figured dancing with him would like help me figure out what they meant.”

“So let me get this right? You decided to dance with a random bloke in a club and snog him in the middle of the place where everyone could see and thought _that_ would be a good way to see if you liked blokes or not.”

“I wasn’t gonna kiss him, it just kind of happened...” I could feel my cheeks get red and I dropped my head in embarrassment.

"Well what were you going to do?"

"I honestly don't know, I met him and he was fit and before I knew it I was asking him to meet me after he got done work." Honestly what was I planning on doing with him, I surely had no idea then. We sat there for a few moments in silence before Zayn said something so low that I wouldn't have known he had spoken if I weren't watching him so intensely, “Well did it work?”

“What?”

“Do you know? Do you know how you feel now?” _Honestly I don’t, I’m even more confused than I was before I kissed Ben._

“Honestly, no. I’m even more confused now.” and that's the truth, I'm so confused and I don't understand how I can go my whole life not knowing. Zayn comes back to the couch and cuddles in my chest once more and we just sit there watching tv. I couldn't tell you what we were watching. I could tell you how Zayns face would light up at all of the funny parts and how his mouth arched to the side when he smiled. I could tell you exactly how many tears fell from Zayns eyes when the sad part came on, _twenty seven_. And how bright his eyes were when the couple got back together. One lone tear falling down, I carefully lent down and wiped it off gently with the tip of my fingers. The tears surprisingly hot where it touched my skin. Zayn's eyes met mine and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears so loud, no doubt Zayn heard it too. 

His hand came to lay softly on my cheek and he brought my face to his, our lips centimeters from brushing. He leaned in closer as the end credits started to roll. _When did my life start becoming such a cliche? Some soap op-_ that thought was cut off when Zayns lips finally met Liams, just softly touching before Zayn pulled in for more. 

And like the big movie cliche he lived in, that is the exact moment the boys all decided to come back on the bus.

Zayn quickly excused himself, saying he needed to get a cigarette. 

Someone knocked on the door after the bus stopped, It was Paul, not waiting for a response, he just walked in like usual.

"So we are at the hotel but they messed up our reservations. Instead of three rooms with two beds they gave us three rooms with one king sized bed in each. We can either keep going or we can just take these." He tells us.

Niall is the first to respond, "I don't know about you but I could go for a nice shower, Oh and I get my own room." Typical Niall, he hates sharing rooms with anyone.

"Well I can room with Liam, he won't mind." Zayn speaks for us both, tentative smile and I just keep my mouth shut trying my hardest not to show much of the happiness that I’m feeling.

"And I can room with Harry, its perfect." Louis says, sealing the deal.

We all make our way to our rooms trying not to get lost in the mess of paps and fans. When I get to my room I immediately take a nap, even though I've been laying around all day I’m exhausted and I deserve a quick little kip before dinner.

When I wake up its still light out and my phone is vibrating and there are about 15 messages, 10 of them are all people who don't want to talk to Liam but they want to talk to Liam Payne, international pop star. There are two from Harry   _'Dinner at 6:30 Leeyum, don't be late Xx'_ and another _'Wake up sleepy boy, wouldn't want you to miss the wonderful meal.'_

The clock says its only about 5:45 so I open my phone to check twitter but I’m rudely interrupted when Zayn walks out of the shower. He's wearing only a towel and his skin is still damp from the shower. The sunset is peeking through the curtains, dancing on his caramel colored skin. He is the vision of beauty, I don't know what took me so long to finally realize how absolute fantastic he is.

Zayn grabs his clothes and brings them to the bathroom to get changed. He has left the door mostly open and I can see him standing in the bathroom through the mirror. He grabs at his towel and brings it to his hair to dry his damp locks. 

I'm not looking at his hair, from this angle I can see the perfect curve of his round ass. I can't breath, I can't blink, I cant even think about looking away . All there is is _ZaynZaynZayn._

It is not like it is the first time I have ever actually seen his his arse but it is the first time I have ever looked, like really looked. Quickly he turns and I am not prepared for what I see. I want to look away, I know it's wrong to just look but I can't move my gaze anywhere else. His cock is hanging there and I swear my mouth watered. Before I know whats happening Zayn is pulling up his boxers and turning back to the mirror to fix with his hair. I could have sworn I saw a cheeky grin on his face as he left the bathroom but I can't be sure.


	3. Chapter 3

When I got Haz and Lou’s room there were 5 boxes of pizza and 48 pack of beer. This had Niall written all over it, not that I minded at all, with the week I’d been having it was nice to just chill back with the boys and drink a few beers.

Harry and Louis were laying at the foot of their bed surrounded by their pizza and chips. Niall and I were sitting cross legged on the ground, leaning on the foot of the bed. Zayn was sprawled out on the only chair in the room looking at his box of pizza with wide eyes. It was nice to just spend time with the lads doing little things like this. It’s easy to get lost in this life, with travelling to a different city every night and trying to juggle sleeping and interviews during the day.

Derek was just starting his solo when my pocket vibrated, why was Zayn texting me when we were sitting righ- _‘Did you enjoy what you saw earlier?_ ’- shit, so he knows I watched him. It’s all his fault, he is the one who left the door open while he was getting changed. If he didn’t want me to see he should of tried harder to hide himself from me.

_‘I uh, you left the door open by accident.’_

I didn’t exactly answer but I didn’t deny it, so that was a step, I just hope it came off as nonchalant as I wish I felt

 _’ It wasn’t an accident, I was trying to help you.’_ This last text left me confused, help me with what?

 _‘Help me with what???’_ I typed a quick reply before Niall was jumping in my lap, begging me to start a drinking game with him.

Niall handed everyone 6 cans of beer and say that every time Dale and Brennan say anything hilarious that we have to take a sip We all knew how this will end, we’ll all be pissed drunk and stumbling back to our rooms but for some crazy reason we all agreed to it anyway.

We were only half way through the movie and I only had 2 beers left. I could feel the buzz numbing my senses. I let myself rest against the bed when Niall paused the movie to use the loo for about the 10th time in the past half hour.

As I layed back I felt a warm body slide against mine and suddenly there was a warm blanket around me. The familiar smell of citrus and cigarette smoke settling around our bodies.

“I finished all my drinks” Zayn whispers, his breath hot on my neck making me shiver.

“That was,” Zayn sticks up a hand counting on his fingers and pushing them in my face, “this many.”

“We are proper sloshed aren’t we?”

“Maybe just a little,” Zayn giggles into my neck when he answers eyes wide like he has won a prize. I took one long last swig of my beer before I set it down. One arm wrapping over Zayns shoulder, allowing him to fall against me while the other is finding its way to slot my fingers between Zayns. Holding hands over the blanket with Zayns head nuzzled into my chest we stayed like this for the rest of the movie.

At some point I must have fell asleep because I was waking up to Louis yapping on about how he wanted to go to bed and blah blah.

Niall was sober enough to bring himself back to his room but Zayn was pissed off his ass, I was not doing much better myself.

Once we were in the room Zayn started stripping off his clothes, he was already down to his boxers, when I started stripping down.

When we both got under the duvet, Zayn rolled over, twining his legs with mine laying his head on my bare chest.

“This is nice” Zayn whispered, almost completely inaudible, but still enough to break the silence

“Ye-yeah it is.” I agreed, it really was, I could get used to falling asleep with Zayns body pressed against mine. I was just slipping under when I felt Zayn pull away and shuffle on the other side of the bed. He returned moments later, but this time he wasn’t wearing anything, boxers thrown somewhere on the the other side of the room. If I wasn’t so tired I would let that fact keep me up, but then Zayns fingers were wrapped around mine and he began to hum and I let his sweet voice lull me to sleep.

* * *

Everything is dark, well everything besides the red light on the alarm clock reading 3:39 am. Why am I even awake, it is way too early for this. The bed next me is rocking slowly, the only sign of life in the whole room.

I chanced a look over to Zayn, eyes popping out of my eyes at what I saw.

Zayn is laying on the bed, with the duvet at his ankles, fully naked. His hand is gripping his cock slowly jerking its way up and down. His breath is coming out in short labored pants, he rubs his thumb over the head, spreading the precum over his throbbing member, moaning slipping past his lips.

A shocked noise slips past my lips and Zayn freezes. Shit, hes gonna know I was being pervy again watching his movements through lidded eyes.

Instead of freaking out he just looks at me, studying my face for about five minutes he just looks.

Zayn slips the duvet off of me and lets them pool around my ankles. Seconds later he starts stroking himself again, eyes never leaving me while he strokes up and down.

My cock is swelling in my boxers, growing almost fully erect after watching Zayn stroke his cock for what feels like days. My cock is now visibly tenting in my boxers and Zayn stops what he's doing, now fully aware that I am awake.

Zayn grabs my hand and squeezes, he starts slowly moving my hand towards his erection. My body is burning with arousal, and I let Zayn lead my hand to his aching cock. When my hand gets close enough I wrap my hand around his dick, tugging and pulling wasting no time. I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment. Zayn lets out a deep moan that tells me its okay to keep going. I  never in a million years thought I would be here, in bed with Zayn stroking him off.

When Zayns breathing gets faster I take that as a hint to fasten my pace, rubbing my thumb over the head spreading the precum and flicking my wrist just the right amount that has Zayn moaning and writhing in pleasure, toes curling and back arching as he comes all over my hand. Its not long before Zayn is back, curling around Liam, now flaccid cock pressed up against my thigh.

Seconds later and I can hear Zayns breathing become even, low snores peaking their way through his lips every few seconds and thats how I fall asleep. Zayns naked body pressed against mine, with Zayns cum drying on my chest. My own erection forgotten when Zayn smiles in his sleep.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Unforgiving white light is peering through the curtains and my head is pounding. I don't know why I ever agreed to drink with Niall.

Note to self: never do anything Niall says ever again

It takes me a few minutes to get my bearings, first thing I notice is Zayn's body pressed to my own. Zayns naked body. Memories of last night fill my head, the way my hand fit perfectly around Zayn's cock, all of the sweet noises Zayn made as I brought him over the edge. I let myself enjoy it, lets happiness rake through my body before reality pushes me back down to my ass. Zayn was pissed drunk last night. He had no idea what he was doing, let alone who he was doing it with. He probably couldn't even remember what happened last night.

It’s probably better that way, I wouldn't have to worry about things getting weird between them. Zayn is my best mate and I don’t want to mess that up because I had some weird crush on him.

Zayn started waking up, and I was still laying next to him, his naked body pressed to mine, his come dried on my stomach. He can't wake up to this, I practically ran to the bathroom hiding from him.

The second I got into the bathroom I locked the door and collapsed on the floor. I hadn't felt this confused, this torn, since the 5th grade. I had almost forgotten about the dreadful memory, always opting to push it away whenever it threatened to return.

This time I didn't push it away, I let the memory of that day return to the front of my mind. Playing over and over again in my head.

* * *

_Liam was sitting at the top of a tree, back in Wolverhampton. He gazed over at his best mate, watching how the light of the sunset danced across the contorts of his face, illuminating his eyes, the blueish green globes sparkling in the light._

_"Joe?" Liam broke the silence silence first._

_"Yeah mate?"_

_"Have you ever kissed a girl?" Liam sounded just as nervous as he felt_

_"No, have you?"_

_"No" Silence filled the air again._

_Liam kept watching Joe, these were the moments he liked best. When it was just him and Joe, on top of the world. He felt so high like no one could ever reach him._

_Joe broke the silence this time, " Lets play a game, yeah?"_

_"Sure, what is it?" I tried not to express how eager I was to play, how eager I was to make Joe happy._

_"So I ask you questions and you have to answer and then you ask me questions and I have to answer." Liam thought the game was stupid but couldn't bring himself to say so. Joe just looked so excited and so proud that he thought of it himself._

_"Alright then, you first."_

_"So, who do you think is the fittest girl in the school?" Liam freezes, he realizes then that he never really paid much attention to the girls in his grade. After about five minutes of thinking about who the other boys fancied I answered._

_"Uhm, Rebecca Peters?" It sounds more like a question than an actual answer._

_"Of course, so cliche Liam." Joe laughs and waits for Liam to ask a question_

_" Whats your favorite pizza topping?"  He already knows the answer, he just loves the way Joe explains the do's and don'ts of pizza toppings. Anyone else would think its weird, annoying even but Liams come to find it quite endearing._

_"Pineapple of course" Liam makes a playful gagging noise and gets greeted with a punch on the arm._

_"Okay so," Liam sits there waiting for Joe to finish asking his question," Who's the fittest bloke in the school?"_

_"You" Liam replies without even thinking, only taking seconds to reply when the other question took minutes. Realizing what he said he drops his head to hide the blushes on his cheeks._

_"Oui, really?" Joe's voice is filled with intrigue and slight shock. Liam expects Joe to leave but he just sits there not saying anything. Again Liam gets to just watch and enjoy the contours of Joes face. For being just 11 Joe's cheekbones are carved like an italian sculpture. He brings his eyes down to his lips, theyre pump and moist. Before Liam knows what hes doing he is closing the space between the two of them. Meeting his lips with Joes for just a fraction of a second. When he pulls back Joes face is white, eyes wide and filled with shock._

_"I think i'm gonna go."  Joe says as he jumps from the tree. Liam doesn't know how long he sat there crying, it feels like its been a century since joe left him in that tree. Liam only leaving because it's getting dark and the street lights are on._

* * *

My body starts moving on autopilot and I find myself turning on the shower. The water spews out of the shower and it’s cold and bitter for the first few seconds until it adjusts and soon enough it is red hot. My head is sitting directly under the stream, hoping it will wash away all of the pain I am feeling. After what feels like minutes the water is turning cold again and my body goes on autopilot again. Before I realise what I am doing my body is wrapped in a towel and I’m entering our shared room.

“I’m really excited to see you too baby. When will you get here?” Zayn is on the phone, he pauses for a second before he’s talking again, “Well I’ll go to the station to get you in about an hour and we can spend the whole day in the city.” another pause, “ No, I’m sharing a room with Liam but I’m sure we can get Niall to let him room with him. I’m sure he will understand.” yet another pause, “Here he is now, I’ll ask him about it. I’ll talk to you later, I love you” just another second and he’s hanging up his phone.

“Hey mate, that was Perrie. Shes coming into the city so she can see our show tonight. Do you think you could maybe get Niall to let you room with him tonight so Perrie can stay with me?” Zayn sounds excited, and he has this desperate look on his face. I should just tell him no, I won’t leave this room, _our room, our bed_. With this being said my body goes on autopilot and I’m telling him okay while grabbing clothes to go change in the bathroom. I make sure to close the door.


	5. Chapter 5

__

_“Take my hand,”  my arm extends and when I look down instead of my hand reaching out I see painted nails and dainty fingers lost intertwined between long caramel colored ones, “I need to tell you something, I don’t know how to say this.”_

_“Well get on with it, you know you can tell me anything.” I can feel my mouth moving without my telling it to and the voice that comes out is not mine._

_“Last night I did something, something that will upset you.”_

_“Well what was it, don’t leave me waiting all day.”_

_“I was with someone else”_

_“With them how? What exactly did you do?”_

_“I had someone, someone gave me a hand job”_

_“A hand job? Who was it?”_

_“It doesn’t matter who did it, I just had to tell you” The room was quiet as Zayn waits for my-Perrie’s reply._

_“Do you regret it?”_

_“Do I regret it,” Zayn’s hand comes up to rub the back of his neck, “To be honest I really don’t know.” My lips didn’t move and my eyes stayed stock still watching Zayn’s every move._

_“Is this the end of us?” Zayn’s question seems to spark some life into my body and I feel my lips forming the next sentence._

_“If you could go back, right now, and change what happened last night would you?”_

_“I, I don’t think so.”_

* * *

 

_“Well I think you got your answer than.” My body gets up and starts scrambling around the room placing my things in my bag. Zayn’s is saying my name, trying to get me to stop or summat but I keep placing my things in my bag. As I walk at the door Zayn places his hand on my wrist and I think I hear him whisper, “I’m sorry I hurt you.” but I don’t have time to find out because I’m already in the hallway, passing Louis, and getting into the elevator. I can just make out the look on Zayns face, it is filled with hurt and sympathy but gets cut off my the doors closing. I walk out of the doors of the hotel and I look at the ring and I’m taking it off and slipping it into my purse. My hands come up to wipe away any tears leaking from my eyes and I leave. Leave the Zayn’s hotel, leave Zayn with my head held high._

When I open my eyes I take stock on my surroundings, the tv is still on but instead of the movie I had fell asleep to infomercials play, it is still relatively dark and I check my phone to see that it is 4:30 am. Niall is sleeping on the bed, completely sprawled out, his mouth is wide open and drool is leaking down creating a wet spot on the pillow. I would try to go back to sleep but I know it won’t work, once my body is up and awake. There is no chance of falling back asleep, especially now that my mind is occupied over the dream I just had.

My eyes scan the room for my bag, it’s lying on the floor just by the bed. I make my way over and quickly get dressed. Making sure not to wake Niall up I tiptoe out the room. Once I’m outside I put in my ear plugs and start running. I’ve been too busy this week to go for a run so it’s nice to get back on schedule even if this is a little earlier than usual. There are about 5 paps out front of the hotel which normally wouldn’t be weird but considering it is only 4:30 in the morning it’s a little out of the norm.

The short one calls out, “Do you know what is going on in Zayn and Perrie’s relationship?” his height reminds me of the Lorax, he speaks frantically as if the world is about to end and my answer is the only way to save all of humankind.

“Look guys, I know this is your job but I’d really like to take a quiet run so what do I have to do to get you guys to leave me alone?” This sparks them and they all start belting orders at once.

“Woah, calm down. I can only talk to one of you at a time.” They all ask me to do different things like smile and one asks me to say “ I love stupid famous people” I don’t think he realizes how offensive it is but I say it anyway. They all leave except for the Lorax.

“So what is your special request, I’d really like to get going. I haven’t got much time.”

“Have Zayn and Perrie  broken up?”

“No, what do you mean?”

“Perrie Edwards was seen leaving the hotel crying about an hour ago.” That is, that is just odd.

“I’m sure they’re alright, maybe something happened with their family. I really don’t know anything, sorry.” Why am I saying sorry, he is the one in someone else’s business. He starts for his car and I take that as my queue to leave. I’m not really sure where I’m going. It’s 5am and I am in a city I’ve never been in before.

I’d been running for about an hour before I passed a shop that wasn’t completely vacant. The sign says Cafe Mocha and there is a guy inside taking chairs from the tops of tables and wiping them off. The bell rings as I walk in, signaling a customer has entered the shop.

“Sorry we’re not,” the guy starts to speak but when he looks up his eyes bulge out of his head and he stops speaking. His are a bright blue that reminds me of the ocean in Barbados. His blonde hair is swept to the side and falls over his forehead, stopping right above his eyebrows which are perched up. His bottom lip is pierced and the ring bounces when his lips move to finish his sentence but there is no sound making it’s way past.

I can’t help but to chuckle at how completely shocked he is at my presence. “I can go if you’re not open yet.”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” he reacts immediately walking over to the door flipping the closed sign to say open. He flips his hair and schools his expression, “ I mean, its no problem we were just about to open anyway.” It’s quite adorable how he tries to act all cool and calm but I can see in his eyes just how thrilled he is by me being here. It is always easy to tell a real fan from someone who is just excited to see a celebrity and this kid is definitely a fan.

“Oh well I have great timing don’t I?” You wouldn’t believe what happens next, he starts giggling. The cute punk rock boy starts giggling at my lame attempt at a joke. When he realizes what he is doing he stops and tries to school his expression once again.

“Yeah, you came at just the right time.” His eyes go wide and his face turns a dark shade of pink when he realizes his innuendo.

I can’t help the smile that takes over my face as I try to reassure him, “ Relax mate, I’m just here for some water. I was going for a run and I forgot to grab one before I left.” There is a case full of baked treats and sandwiches, “And I’d like one of those muffins and a small tea.” He wraps up the muffin and goes to turn on the hot water. When it’s done he places everything on the counter and asks “ Is there anything else you want?”

‘Yeah your number’ I think but I don’t know if he is even into lads like that. After the night in the bar I had taken to google and searched ‘Tell tale signs that a guy is gay’ in hopes that it would strengthen my “gaydar” but all I had found were websites of women complaining about their men cheating on them with a man and “seeing all of the signs”. Despite my bad luck on google slightly confident in my “gaydar”.

“Actually I would like it if you joined me while I drank my tea,” I decide to buy myself a little time to scope him out before I actually ask him. It would be so embarrassing If I were to ask him and he turned me down. I walk over to the closest table and when I see he is just standing there watching me I wave him over. He finally starts walking over and he grabs the tray with sugar, cream, and milk and places it in front of me before sitting down.

“So what brings you to Cafe Mocha at 5 in the morning?”

“Like I said, I was going for an early run and I saw you in here so I stopped in.”

“Wanna know something?”

“Sure”

“When I got assigned this shift I was proper pissed off, but now”

“Now what?”

“I just never thought I would be sitting down having a cup of tea with Thee Liam Payne. Fuck, my sisters gonna be right mad she finds out.”

“ ‘Thee Liam Payne’? I’ve never been called that before.” I take a sip of my tea before I continue, ”So your sister, she a fan?”

“ Of course, she’s actually sat out front of your hotel building right now. This was supposed to be her shift but I promised that I would let her have it since she was so upset when we found out the tickets she bought for last nights concert were fakes.”

“I hate that, I don’t know why people have to do things like that.”

“I know, she had gotten all dressed up and we waited in line for hours so we could get in front of the standing crowd, and it was all for nothing.”

“So you were going too?” His cheeks start to pink, like he is embarrassed to tell me he was going to a One Direction concert.

“Yeah, I’m actually a really big fan.”

“How big? Because there are a lot of different types of fans. There is the I-hear-your-songs-on-the-radio-and-I-like-them fans, the I-follow-you-on-twitter-and-buy-all-of-your-music-fan, and lastly the I-have-a-tumblr-dedicated-to-you-where-I-talk-about-how-perfect-your-bulge-is-when-you-wear-your-gray-sweatpants-fans.”

“Well I listen to your songs on the radio and I sing them and I follow you on twitter and I have all of your songs and I have a tumblr…”

“You, have a tumblr?”

“Oh god, I shouldn’t have told you that. You probably think I’m a total weirdo.”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course”

“I have a tumblr too”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No, don’t tell anyone. I can’t have anyone knowing it’s mine.”

“No, I totally understand.”

“Here, give me your phone.” He hands me his unlocked phone and waits, I can tell how nervous he is. His background is a picture of me on stage, I scroll through his apps and click the familiar blue one. I search in my url ‘therealliampayne’ and click follow. I then click on the make a post button.

“Come here” I wave him over and click photo. I quickly snap a picture of us and write, ‘I’m hanging out with Liam Payne at Cafe Mocha rn, and yes, he is as cute in person as he is in pictures, probably even cuter’  I take one last look at the post checking for mistakes and I read this url, it is payneinmyasssss.

“What did you do?”

“I just made a post, I like your url by the way” his cheeks turn pink and he breaks eye contact, “You’re blushing” his cheeks turn completely red when I say that.

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, it’s cute” his face looks like its gonna burst, and he’s looking down playing with tiny grains of sugar. My phone starts vibrating in my pocket, _‘Where are you? We have an hour before we have to leave for the interview_ ’  I check the time and it says it’s 6:45. _‘I’m at a coffee shop called Cafe Mocha, send a car’_ I quickly text Harry back.

“I have an idea, what are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing really, just dinner with the family I think.”

“How would you like to go to a One Direction concert?”

“Are you serious?”

“Totally, we have a special area made for fans. Usually we have members of management go out and pass the passes to fans but I can tell them to leave two for you and your sister.”

“That would be,”

“Fantastic?”

“Yeah, absolutely fantastic.”

“Okay so I’ll give you my number and you can call me when you get there. You can either come at about 6 and I can let you guys in or you can come regular time. The concert doesn’t start till 8 so you can figure it out and send me a text or summat.”

“Is this really happening?”

“Yeah, by the way you never gave me your name.”

“My name’s Luke”

“Nice to meet you Luke, my name’s Liam Payne” A black limo pulls out front, “Thats my ride.”  

“It was nice meeting you too Liam” I quickly throw away my trash and grab my water bottle.

“ Oh and Luke, make sure to wear something nice.” 

 


	6. Chapter 6

The room was cold and the chair I sat in was hard and uncomfortable. Waiting for Simon was a lot more nerve wracking than it should have been. If I was lucky management would have banned questions of that night and of my sexuality but I had a feeling they wouldn't. The pictures were obvious, there was no way to lie our way out of it and the people were demanding answers.  

The door opened and Simon came in with a blank expression. He had the best poker face of anyone i'd ever met.

"Okay well let's get this on with. So you are what? Gay, bisexual, curious?" His tone showed that he was in "Simon your boss" mode not "Simon your mentor" mode.  

"I" my words were cut short because he was interrupting me,

"It doesn't really matter. I have talked to management and we have agreed that it would be best for you and the band if you came out as gay. This would squash any homophobic rumors and would link us to the lgbt community. Any questions?"

"How I am supposed to just tell the world that I'm gay. I mean I'm pretty sure I am but it's just, I'm not ready for the world to know" I could hear how my voice had raised about 3 octaves.

"Well you should've thought about that before you got yourself photographed with someone. If you deny it it will just make you look like you are ashamed. This is your only chance, either you come out now, or you stay in the closet for the remainder of your career."

"I guess I have no choice do I?"

"Not really, I am sorry it had to happen like this but you did this to yourself" I took that as my queue to leave.

* * *

“Welcome everyone, I am here with the one and only One Direction. So boys you’ve just started your new tour. It must be hard having to leave your family and friends.” The question was pointed to Harry.

“Well of course we miss our families but we can always skype them or fly them out to see us.” It’s kind of funny, you go into every interview hoping for something different. New questions, better jokes but it’s the same thing every time. It’s not their fault, it’s only their first time asking the question but for us its about our thousandth time answering.

“Yes of course, and I know some of you are in relationships. Is it hard to be away from each other that long?”

“Well yeah it gets a little lonely but I think if you really want to make a relationship work that it is worth it in the long haul.”

“Well speaking of relationships, I have to ask, which of you are taken?” Another cliche question, and this is when Zayn and Louis raise their hand and they talk for a few seconds about their girlfriends and it’s change topic to the tour or twitter questions because they are so incompetent that they can not come up with their own.

“I need the loo, can I use the loo? I’ll be quick I promise.” Well thats not what I had been expecting. I looked up at the other lads and they all seem to be as disgruntled as I. None of us, besides Niall, have the guts to leave an interview mid question but there is Zayn, rushing out as if the building was on fire.

“Okay then, my next question is for you Liam.” Okay I guess this is it, the moment I tell my best mates, my family, and the world that I’m gay.

“Everyone and anyone has seen those racy photos of you and that mystery man. Is there anything going on there?”

“Uhm well, Ben is a nice guy but no there is nothing going on.”

“So Liam the world is dying to know, are you bi? Gay?”

“I-I’m gay” The words sounded foreign coming from my mouth. For the first time the boys were speechless, mouths agape and eyes wide.

“I-I think it’s time for commercial.” The interviewer looked at us, she had obviously not expected that answer and she could see that neither were the boys. I could feel their eyes on me, coming down like daggers. My legs started moving before my mind did and before I knew it I was in the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

My phone started vibrating in my pocket, the interview was going out live and everyone had been watching. I scanned through the already piling messages and I saw some from random people and one from my mother. I shut my phone off and put it in my pocket, I wasn't ready to read what people were saying. I heard sniffles coming from one of the stalls and that's when I noticed I wasn't alone. Sniffles turned into sobs and I immediately recognized the sound.

"Zayn, are you alright?" My hand reached for the handle but it wouldn't open.

"C'mon Zayn it's just me, open up please" and he did. His eyes were red and he has snot coming out of his nose. My arms went around his waist and I pulled him into me, his arms wound around my neck and I could feel him breaking.

"What's wrong, what happened?"

"Perrie, she-she broke off the engagement." My mind went to last night and my dream, it had felt so real but how could I have dreamt of something that was happening to someone else, that just didn't make sense. What did make sense was what the paps had said and the reason for so many to be out at such an hour.

"I'm so sorry Zayn, so sorry." That was a lie though, I was wracked with plenty of emotions but sorrow was not one of them. I couldn't help feeling hopeful, that maybe now that they aren't together that we could. Which made me feel guilt because he was obviously hurting and all I could think about was myself and guilt because it might be my fault this happened. Yes Zayn did initiate that night but I hadn't stopped him, I should have stopped him.

"Let's just go back to the bus okay? I don't feel like going back to that interview." Zayn just shook his head and we made our way to the bus. I shielded him with my coat as we walked through the paps and fans.

Luckily the bus was right out front since we were going straight from here to the next arena.

Once on the bus Zayn snuggled up to me on the couch, within minutes he was asleep and I let the sound of his steady breathing lull me to sleep.

 

**Author's Note:**

> **I actually completely changed the story because I hated it, sorry for anyone who gets confused!!**


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